Just like to have a laugh every now and again
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, ‘What a Great Chest you have!’

He tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, ‘What massive calves you have!’

The body builder tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, baby.’

He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her andasks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, ‘I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!’

Body Builder - No Comments »

The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:

* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

*This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

*Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)”

*This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world. Please log off.”

* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

*User Error: Replace user.

*Windows VirusScan 1.0 - “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

*If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you
and all your future creations. Doesn’t it feel nice to have
security?

*Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles
have been deleted. The police are on the way.

Error Messages - No Comments »

This was posted at a public forum and I nearly laugh my head off.

yesterday I saw one call girl on the road, she was very hot and gave me her number, I am scared if I should call her and fuck her or I should just call her and tell her I should marry.

Is it safe? ever tried?

Call Girl - No Comments »

(1) My darling, my honey, my wife…

Marrying you screwed up my life.

(2) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet,

and so are you… But the roses are wilting, the

violets are dead,the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your

head.

(3)Of loving beauty you float with grace…

If only you could hide your face.

(4) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot…

This describes everything you are not.

(5)I want to feel your sweet embrace…

But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.

(6)I love your smile, your face, and your eyes…

Damn, I’m good at telling lies

(7)I see your face when I am dreaming…

That’s why I always wake up screaming.

(8)What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Romantic First Liners - No Comments »

Read this in a forum, can’t resist putting it here for laughter.

Hi

Is it true that in USA there is no family life.

And after 18

a person can hire or rent 4-5 girls or boys in a private place and have free sex without marriage or relationship. and forget it after that night. and go back to work as normal. without any police or society asking any question.

is it really true USA have no family life.

some doctor in india who was living in USA said me this. He also said patients get nude in front of doctor and ask for treatment

Is it true that in USA there is no family life - No Comments »

Hi webhosters,

I need unlimited bandwidth and unlimited space. How much u will change me per month. Also if possible want to talk on messeger as well. So, please send me details in PM for your messenger and my brother will talk to you. He is using: Yahoo, MSN and gtalk.

Thats a real stupid and funny post I wanted to quote unlimited $$$$$ initially but find it too stupid to really answer it

Unlimited Everything - No Comments »

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!”

I Know These Lawyers - No Comments »

Find it funny in an ironical way.   Olympic supposedly to be the major sports events of the world, there should be such violent and non sportsmanship display.

Cuban Boxer Kick Referee - No Comments »

A lawyer, known more for his drinking at the bar than for his practice before it, died in poverty.

The other attorneys from the city, feeling sorry for his family, started a fund to cover his funeral expenses.

A local businessman was asked to make a contribution.

“Will you please donate a dollar, so we can bury a lawyer?”

“Only a dollar to bury a lawyer?” asked the businessman, “Here’s $100 — go and bury 99 more of them.”

Bury a Lawyer - No Comments »

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day. The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast. The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas. Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.

The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, ‘Don’t you know I am the lion… king of the Jungle…, what’s wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this? Why are you delivering bananas to me?’

The delivery boy politely said, ‘Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ..did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey’s visa!!!

Moral: Better to be a Lion in your country, than a Monkey elsewhere!!!

Green Card - No Comments »